The Right Twin For Him (O'Rourke Family 2) Page 14

  The older woman lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “He was young when we lost Keenan, still lookin’ up to his father but not much knowin’ him. But they have the same heart, fierce and gentle and proud as a man comes. And his laugh…it’s like hearin’ Keenan all over again.”

  “Stubborn?”

  “Oh, yes. Keenan was a terror as a lad. M’parents didn’t want me to have anything to do with him, but a girl in love doesn’t listen overwell. We courted until I told him plain I wouldn’t have a troublemaker for a husband. He’d have to mend his ways or find another woman to make his wife.”

  “So he changed.”

  “Ah, no.” Pegeen let out a warm chuckle. “Not right away. It was hard for him, bein’ in the same town where he’d caused so much ruckus. That’s one reason we came to America. A clean start for us both.”

  “I see.” Maddie thought about the way Patrick commanded respect at the radio station, his lively wit and intelligence making everyone forget the troublesome boy he’d once been. Keenan had made a measured choice to start over with his family; Patrick had chosen to stay and make his way in a world that knew his secrets and failings. Both were difficult choices, but neither one of them had run away.

  Her first instinct after fighting with Patrick had been to leave immediately. But she wasn’t going to run away, either. Leaving the scene of her ruined wedding was one thing, running away from her job and responsibilities was another. She’d finish her time at the radio station—there were just a few days left until Stephen’s assistant got back—then she’d leave a forwarding address and return to Slapshot.

  Patrick would be able to find her.

  If he ever wanted to know where she’d gone.

  “Will you come back to Washington for the wedding?” Candy asked as she hugged Maddie goodbye. “And be my maid of honor?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Maybe we could get married in Slapshot,” Stephen suggested.

  A smile broke through Candy’s tears and she smiled at her fiancé. “That’s a wonderful idea.”

  Stephen neatly tugged Candy across his legs and handed her a handkerchief. “Who’d have guessed?” he said good-naturedly, taking his bride-to-be’s tears in stride.

  “Oh, you.” Candy sniffed and gave him a kiss guaranteed to notch his temperature up a few degrees.

  Maddie tried to not envy them. They deserved to be happy. Candy had even confided they were going to try to have a baby. The doctor had advised it would be a high-risk pregnancy, given Candy’s age, but not impossible.

  “You’ll never know how much you’ve meant to us,” Stephen said quietly. “I only wish you and Patrick…” He shrugged and didn’t finish the thought.

  “I know.” Maddie couldn’t resist glancing around, hoping Patrick would show up. She’d asked her new friends not to make a big deal of her leaving. Nevertheless, they’d thrown an impromptu party with snacks and sodas from the vending machines. It would have been nice if Patrick had shown up, if only to say goodbye.

  Of course, they’d probably just have another fight.

  “You can’t leave,” Dixie moaned for the thousandth time. “What about the show? It’s such a big success. Everyone is going to be so upset.”

  “I was only supposed to be here temporarily.”

  “But Patrick never said you were leaving.”

  “That’s right, I never did.”

  The low masculine voice sent flutters through Maddie’s tummy. She spun around to see Patrick regarding her with a long, unsmiling stare. He even looked angry—as if he had a right to be upset after the irritating things he’d said the last time they’d spoken.

  “Would everyone leave us alone?” he asked.

  The assembly of KLMS employees hastily headed for the break room door. All except Stephen, who had reluctantly allowed Candy to scramble from his lap. “Just don’t be a jackass,” he said to Patrick.

  “I don’t recall asking for your advice.”

  “When has that stopped me?”

  A reluctant smile tugged at Patrick’s mouth. “Never. But I don’t have to listen.”

  It was a routine they’d gone through in the early years, when Patrick had been still rebellious and angry and reluctant to listen to anyone. In fact, he usually did listen to Stephen, but the news that Maddie was leaving had hit him like a ton of bricks. He’d hardly been able to breathe, much less think clearly.

  He’d assumed Maddie wouldn’t leave unless he told her to go. No wonder there’d been so many subtle and not-so-subtle hints about offering her a contract to do her show. Nobody wanted to lose her.

  The whole station adored Maddie.

  And damn it, he did, too.

  Stephen wheeled out the door, then closed it behind him.

  Patrick drew a rough breath, then looked at Maddie. “You don’t have to go. I would have told you if I wanted that.”

  “How big of you. You sound so thrilled with the idea, too. About as excited as you were when you hired me. You regretted it, didn’t you?”

  “That’s beside the point,” Patrick said, not bothering to deny it. He had regretted hiring Maddie, but it wasn’t because of who she was as a person or her value as a worker, it was the way she’d made him feel. A man didn’t enjoy feeling vulnerable, and that’s exactly what she’d done to him.

  Her chin rose. “Now you can have things exactly how you want them. You don’t have to worry about having to ‘take care’ of me. I won’t be around. And I’ll make sure you don’t have to see me any more than necessary. Maybe Kane and Beth can come to New Mexico to visit after the baby arrives, instead of the other way around. Then you won’t have to be inflicted with me at all.”

  “That isn’t what I want,” Patrick said harshly.

  “Yes, it is.”

  “No, it isn’t,” he insisted. “Just stay in Washington while we figure things out.”

  Maddie shook her head, her eyes stark and dry without her usual quick tears. “It won’t change anything.”

  Panic crowded his usually sensible brain. He couldn’t let her leave, he just couldn’t. “All right, fine, I’ll marry you,” he snapped.

  Hell.

  It didn’t take a crystal ball to know he’d just made a huge mistake. Maddie gave a look like he was gum she needed to scrape off her shoe, and he heard a collective groan from outside of the room—where, no doubt, everyone in the station had gathered to hear his business.

  He tried to ease the tension in his shoulders while thinking of a way to repair the damage. Women wanted flowers and romantic declarations of love, not shouted proposals of desperation.

  “I didn’t…quite mean it that way,” he said carefully.

  “I’m sure you didn’t mean it all.”

  “I meant the part about marrying you.”

  Maddie sighed. Just getting married wasn’t what she wanted, she wanted a partnership like her parents had, a passionate, endless love that defied all the rational reasons why two people shouldn’t be together. She finally knew why Patrick’s notion of taking “care” of her bothered her so much. She’d already had one blow to her self-confidence; she didn’t need another.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “Look, I’m sorry about the way I said it. I’m an idiot. I’ve messed up all along where you’re concerned, why should it be any different now?”

  Maddie looked at him, seeing a man she loved but also someone who couldn’t trust himself, much less anyone else. “I’m different.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I won’t let anyone make me feel inadequate again. No matter how scatterbrained and emotional I might be, I’d make a darned good wife. I don’t need to be taken care of, I need to be loved and trusted and made a partner. But you can’t do that, because you’re so hung up on the past you can’t see the future.”

  “That isn’t true. And I never meant to make you feel inadequate. You aren’t, I just…” He threw up his hands. “I just need some time. I real
ly care about you, can’t you see that?”

  “I see more than you think.”

  Maddie swallowed around the tight knot in her throat. He liked her, he just didn’t want to like her too much. He didn’t want to like anyone too much. The hardest part about loving Patrick was knowing that it wasn’t just her he wouldn’t let into his heart, it was the entire world.

  “If you weren’t so worried about who is going to take care of whom, and being so blamed independent, you might figure out what families and love are all about,” Maddie said. “And maybe then you’ll stop protecting yourself and let someone else inside. Until then, I’ll be in New Mexico.”

  She turned and very quietly walked out the door.

  Chapter Eleven

  Patrick rested his fists on his thighs. He’d proposed, been turned down, and he still didn’t quite believe it.

  The irony of spending his life avoiding commitment only to be refused by the one woman he really wanted to marry wasn’t lost on him. He’d probably even laugh about it in fifty or sixty years.

  “Oh, man,” he muttered to himself. “Why couldn’t you have gotten smart faster?”

  It had been foolish to assume that just because he wanted to get married, Maddie would, too. She didn’t have any reason to think he’d changed.

  I won’t let any man make me feel inadequate again.

  Hell. Why had he insisted she needed someone to take care of her? Her innocence was a precious, wonderful thing, but it didn’t make her incapable. It was his own inadequacy he’d feared.

  A man was supposed to protect his woman—whether she needed it or not. His sisters called it a macho, old-fashioned attitude, but he didn’t care. There were a lot of things he might be able to change about himself, but that wasn’t one of them. If he accepted responsibility as a husband, he’d damn well do it the way it was supposed to be done. Not that Maddie couldn’t do some taking care of him, as well; he wouldn’t mind some tender loving attention from her.

  All the time, he really had been protecting himself, not Maddie. He’d known she was a generous, loving woman who wouldn’t care about the stupid things he’d done as a teenager. He’d just been afraid to break out of the shell he’d built around himself to wall out possible pain. So he’d spend nearly twenty years alone, even though he was surrounded by people who loved him.

  That’s why he’d envied his brother and Beth. They had something he’d been afraid to find for himself.

  Without needing to look up, he knew Stephen had returned, probably wearing the stern expression that meant he was in for a lecture. “Go ahead and say it,” he muttered.

  “I just wondered what you’re going to do now?”

  “What do you think?” Patrick retorted. “I’m getting a ring and propose the proper way.”

  “Bring a few dozen roses to go along with that proposal,” Stephen advised. “She’s pretty steamed.”

  “Any particular color?”

  “I think you can figure that out on your own.”

  There was no condemnation on Stephen’s face, only concern. Even now Patrick didn’t know why Stephen Traver and C. D. Dugan had cared enough to straighten out a hell-bent teenager, and he’d certainly never publicly acknowledged the favor.

  “Have I ever thanked you for bailing me out of trouble more times than I can count?” he asked.

  “Yes, by making something of yourself. Now go finish the job and marry Maddie.”

  “Aye, aye, sir.” Patrick gave him a mock salute, but the real acknowledgment was silent. They weren’t the kind of men who said things easily between them.

  Hell, he hadn’t even said the most important thing to Maddie…that he loved her. Struck by the thought, Patrick kicked himself all over again.

  I really care about you.

  What an insipid thing to declare to the woman you loved more than your own soul. No wonder she’d walked out on him. She had her pride, too, and would never be the first to admit she loved him after the way he’d acted.

  And she did love him. He knew it with a certainty that defied reason. She belonged to him in the way men and women have belonged to each other since the beginning of time.

  Patrick went first to Maddie’s desk, only to find Jeff Tarbell sitting at it.

  “Need something, boss?”

  “Where’s Maddie?”

  “Gone. She cleaned out her stuff last night. Say, she’s really something. Do you know she organized the entire—”

  Patrick didn’t hear the rest. He was already running out the door, his heart in his throat. Maddie might belong to him, but where was she?

  He dialed the bed-and-breakfast inn on his cell phone, only to learn she’d already checked out.

  “Damned woman. She’s too efficient,” he muttered.

  He climbed into the Blazer. Maybe he could catch her at the airport. He wouldn’t have a ring, but he could get flowers from a vendor. Except, he didn’t know what airline Maddie was flying on or anything else.

  Beth.

  If anyone would know, it was Beth. Patrick tried reaching his sister-in-law at her clothing store, then caught her at home. “Beth, where is Maddie?” he demanded when she answered.

  “Patrick…I don’t think she wants to see you.”

  “She’s there?” Hope rose in his chest as he turned the Blazer toward his brother’s place.

  “No. She didn’t want to fly, so I suggested she drive back to New Mexico. I’m not using the car, so it seemed the best solution. We said goodbye before she went into work this morning. I thought you knew she was leaving.”

  Patrick ground his foot on the brakes, screeching to a stop. “She’s driving?”

  “She’s an excellent driver,” Beth rebuked gently. “She does a lot of off-road driving in New Mexico, and we made sure the car was fully inspected and equipped.”

  “But it’s snowing in Utah and across the pass in Oregon,” Patrick said, trying not to yell. “Which way is she going?”

  “I don’t know. She said she hadn’t made up her mind.”

  He struck his forehead against the steering wheel. It would be days before he could see Maddie. And if she got stuck in the snow it might be even longer. He wanted to chase after her, except that would only convince her more than ever that he didn’t respect her ability to take care of herself.

  At least he could be there when she arrived.

  “Uh…is Kane around?” he asked. “I’d like to borrow the company jet.”

  Three days of driving hadn’t helped Maddie’s aching heart, but it had been better than dealing with the hustle and bustle of the airport and crowding herself onto an airplane. She’d never driven such long distances before, and there was a certain kind of calm in the passage of the miles and the impersonal sterility of motel rooms.

  Slapshot didn’t look different when she descended the highway down into town. The little church where she was supposed to have been married still stood in the middle of the block. The Hamburger Shack had the same cars in front of it, and the air smelled of piñon pine and the lingering fragrance of roasting chilies.

  Home, and yet not home.

  Not any longer.

  Her home was with Patrick O’Rourke, even if she never saw him again. As it turned out, love really was that simple. Sometimes your heart made choices your head couldn’t argue over.

  It was an unusually warm fall day, and she rolled the window down as she pulled into her parents’ driveway. They would probably be out by the pool, savoring the last reminder of summer. Leaving her suitcases behind, Maddie walked through the house and onto the patio beyond. Her dad was working with the hose, spraying off the natural-rock paving stones around the pool, while her mom worked on the terraced flower beds.

  “Guess who?” she called.

  Her father’s face split in a grin as he strode forward and grabbed her into a huge bear hug. “Baby, we thought you wouldn’t be here until tomorrow.”

  “I got up especially early. I wanted to get home.” Her throat was
choked with tears as her mother joined the hugging and kissing. “I missed you so much,” Maddie whispered.

  “Did you miss me?” asked a familiar voice.

  For a moment it felt as if the ground had dropped away from her feet. It couldn’t be Patrick. Not in New Mexico. Not standing right behind her.

  “Don’t I get a kiss, too?” the husky voice added.

  Swallowing, Maddie turned and saw Patrick regarding her with solemn blue eyes. What was he doing here? She needed peace and quiet, a place to gather herself. She didn’t want another fight; she had to be strong and not let him talk her into something that would be wrong for them both.

  “How…” She cleared her throat.

  “I got here Friday evening. Your parents and I have been getting to know each other.”

  “Friday? But how could you…The airlines couldn’t get you here so quickly.”

  “Mmm, no. I borrowed Kane’s company jet. Turns out the Slapshot airfield is big enough to land in. I could have slept on the plane with the pilot, but your mom and dad offered to put me up while I waited to see you.”

  “They did?” A traitorous warmth crept through Maddie. Patrick must have wanted to get to New Mexico really fast to ask for something so expensive from his brother.

  Susan Jackson smiled serenely. “I think barbecued chicken would be good for dinner. We’d better get it started, Hugh.”

  Maddie’s father kissed her forehead. “Welcome home, baby. We missed you.” He followed his wife into the house.

  “Baby?” Patrick lifted one eyebrow. “You let him get away with that?”

  “Fathers are allowed,” Maddie said.

  Patrick smiled. He liked the Jacksons. They were a passionately devoted couple who reminded him of the way his own mother and father had loved each other. He’d spent the past three days talking with them, being frank about his mistakes. And he’d discovered the same nonjudgmental quality in them as he’d found in Maddie.

  The past was the past.

  What mattered was what you did with your future. He could only pray that Maddie would have enough forgiveness in her sweet heart to give him another chance.